Catching Up and Dealing with Pain

It has been a while. These past couple of months have been difficult, mostly due to work, travel, physical pain (I'll get into that shortly), and lack of sleep. My schedule has been quite full, and to be perfectly honest, this blog has not been a high priority for me. I have just been trying to keep my head above water and stay sane. I really like what I do, but sometimes it can be taxing and leave me drained of energy. I also had multiple trips in the months of August, September, and October, which compressed my work schedule a bit and exacerbated my stress.

Things have settled back down a bit, and I won't be traveling much for the rest of the year. I am delegating much more to others, which is hilarious because that is what I tell my clients to do. I am now trying to practice what I preach. It is working, but the transition can sometimes be a lot of work and time. I am right in the middle of doing this, but I am viewing it as an investment both in myself as well as in them.

Regarding the physical pain I mentioned earlier, it seems that when I was dealing with fluid in my left lung and had difficulty breathing on that side, this had some more lasting impacts. My body seemed to have compensated in an effort to maximize my breathing. This was all subconscious, of course. Think of it like limping on a bad leg. The act of limping can actually create an entire set of new problems because you are not walking in a way your body is meant to walk. This can wreak havoc on bones, joints, ligaments, muscles, etc. Well, that is exactly what has happened to me. My left lung ordeal of about 3 months earlier this year has caused my body to compensate in dramatic ways, creating chronic pain, more breathing difficulties, and serious posture issues.

To give you an idea of what is happening, if I just sat in front of you and breathed normally, you would see the right side of my chest and torso expanding, but you would notice my left side barely moving. You might also notice that my left shoulder is lower than my right shoulder. If you're really paying attention, you may even notice that my upper body is torqued (turned) slightly leftward. There is more going on, but these are the obvious symptoms. It is also accompanied by a lot of back pain. Essentially, my body is trying really hard to help me breathe but going about it all wrong. It just needs to relax but it doesn't know that. I have recently begun physical therapy to help convince my body to chill and breathe normally.

Needless to say, this condition can be seriously distracting, especially for someone like me who has never had to deal with any significant physical issues or limitations in my life. I am learning, though. The other challenge it poses is the lack of quality sleep I get. This issue is more pernicious and harder to remedy quickly. It has increased my stress... or rather, it has lowered my ability to handle stress well. For all my life, stress was never an issue because I slept amazingly well. Now, my sleep is lackluster. This has seriously affected my ability to focus, be productive, stay positive, and deal with all the demands of life as nonchalantly as I typically have.

I am not complaining. On the whole, I am doing very well, and I am grateful for my health. My cancer progress has been great, and my doctors are all very pleased. So am I.

I will try to be more regular in providing updates. My challenge sometimes is knowing what to write about. There are a few topics I am purposely avoiding in this blog because I think they may distract from my mission: religion, politics, and general life philosophy. I have much to say on these topics, but I don't feel this is the correct forum. I am always willing to say more one-on-one with anyone who reaches out. Maybe I will create a poll to determine the topics people want to hear about.

-Jeremy